Lonely Hearts – which book characters are looking for love?

Just imagine if nine of your favourite book characters (and one special author) created adverts to find their perfect love match – can you read between the lines and guess who they are? 

Illustrated by Erika Meza

Who's behind each lonely hearts ad?

Beautiful, intelligent mid-30s ingenuine, risk-taker, working single mum who appreciates powerful men and traditional values. WLTM senior clergymen, physicians & academics. No time wasters please.

Friendly, brown-haired, spectacle-wearing man who likes large crowds and stripes. Feels the cold, so always with bobble hat. Looking for someone to hide with on those chilly & lonely nights.

Power-hungry Captain seeks partner for FTA across the seas. Must know how to read a compass and not get seasick. Not interested in children or anyone with a pet crocodile. Appreciation of weapons preferred.

Stout lady, who likes nothing more than pottering about and keeping things clean, seeks a companion who scrubs up well and can put up with her prickly side. Free for dates on Tuesdays. All other days are for laundry.

Cuddly & well-meaning mammal with a sweet tooth WLTM more friends. Someone to share poetry and go for walks with, we can even play the game I invented.

Kansas girl with a love of sparkly shoes WLTM someone with courage, brains, or a heart. Must love pets. Farmers/wizards preferred.

Manipulative male liar with keen DIY skills seeks beard-loving lady with low hygiene standards to create the world’s first Upside-Down Monkey Circus. Must dislike animals and children. Skills with glue an advantage.

Fashion trendsetter who loves luxurious fabrics, such as satin, silk and a lot of fur. Waiting for black-and-white hair to become popular. WLTM like-minded mate with lots of money. No pet dogs please.

Nosy, rustic man looking for friendship & possibly more for relaxation after spending a gap year travelling across vast mountain ranges. Likes fantasy books, poetry and reading. No jewellery wearers please.

I’m a writer and illustrator with a PHD to my name. I WLTM new people but it’s hard with the fame. I have many friends already but I would like to add to my clan. You could lunch with the cat while I order off-coloured dairy with ham.

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